An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
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watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize