Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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