i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
