Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize