this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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