I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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