I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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