): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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