just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
