i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
