So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
