her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
