lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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