I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
