i think my mom watched the whole time
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
be right there i have to get my cape
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
