she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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