I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
