after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
