oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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