He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
