I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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