so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize