the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
