i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
