I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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