we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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