There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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