So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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