I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
pray to the hookup gods
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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