I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Buhtt sex?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
