just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
