some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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