just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
