Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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