Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
