Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
