My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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