If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
