we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
