arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
