If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
