Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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