I hate your face
Yo dont text me then not text me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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