Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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