My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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