I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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