Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
