If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
