Me. At least after what I've been through.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
