Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
