Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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