Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
