is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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