Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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